I KNOW I AM A LIVING SYSTEM BECAUSE..........
When the sun is setting, and the air is crisp, and my pootch is sleeping by my feet I feel alive. I know I live in this world as I share the space with other living systems (and non-living systems). I need the sun. In fact, I worship the sun and I grow like a plant when its rays shine on my body. The earth is moving with me not noticing, but I do feel my own movement. Sometimes the more I move, the more alive I feel. A bike ride should do. I am in a magnetic field as I try to let good things draw to me (although this takes weeding out some bad at times). The atmosphere protects me, in theory, on my skin, but also deeper as it guides my smallness through the largeness. I rely on water. Just the slightest change in my intake of water reminds me of wilting plants in the middle of the day. I breathe air. The cleaner, the more alive I feel. And most of all, this aliveness takes time. My experiences happen over seconds, and years. My living system happens in many forms.
BIOPHYSICS AND ME
During my junior year of college, I had the privledge to study for a semester aboard a huge ship that sailed around the world. We made a circle and stopped at 10 countries along the way. The journey was amazing in so many ways, as I learned about the flora and fauna of the world. But when I take a second to think about the trip that was now over ten years ago, there is one thing that stuck out the most; from Japan to Seattle, we sailed on a ship and did not see land for 13 days. Nothing in my life has humbled me more! I felt so, so small. The waters of the ocean defined massive. I thought about how much energy is inside of me, little old me, and then realized how huge this universe is, and concluded that its energy is beyond massive. Biophysics makes me think of this connection between myself and the greatness of the universe. It helps me understand how I can fit in to something so much larger than I will ever understand, and still feel important. I believe we can feel greatness in our smallness. I was more alive for those 13 days than I ever felt.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Class # 9
MY E-PRIME BREAKFAST WITH MIKE
My old friend visited this morning for some breakfast. Mike just got back from a visit to Cuba. He seemed to enjoy his visit there. He seemed refreshed when he came into my home, as if the trip rejuvinated him a bit. When I asked about the politics of Cuba he seemed more tense. He explained that in his eyes, the situation is too hard to explain from one side or the other. He reported that some people there seemed happy to him, while others seemed like they were missing out on the rest of the world. After this talk, Mike appeared less cheerful than he did when he showed up. I think the conversation got his brain going a bit too fast and suggested that we make some food. Mike thought he should make the coffee since he does not think he cooks well. I scrambled some eggs and kale, and then I put some bread in the toaster. Mike smiled while he made the coffee which made me think that he got his mind off of the conversation about Cuba. We ate our meal and shared many stories. It seemed to me that we both enjoyed our visit. I think we will see each other later in the week.
CAN I SYNTHESIZE EAST AND WEST?
YES! When I entered this field of study it was very important to me to remember that both eastern and western medicine have played and continue to play a huge role in my life. I have been turned off from doctors who claim that their way is the correct way to deal with health. Having suffered health problems through my life, I really learned that everyone's body reacts to everything differently. I never seemed to improve when I worked with a healer that was sure their method would make me better. I have always been more drawn to eastern medicine as it seems to fit more of my values of natural healing and working with the individual body, but I will never forget the fact that western medicine has saved my life two times. I hope to continue through this program with a strong respect for both medicines as I know they both have their place. I even hope to focus on a patient population that may have to rely on western medicine to live, but want to get support from an eastern side as well. I think if our field wants to become part of the western world, we have to pay our respects to western medicine. It is not bad. I feel more often, there are good and bad doctors, just like there are good and bad acupunturists. The statement that you are nothing without your health is the truest thing I have ever known. With that, what ever people need to find their health......amen.
My old friend visited this morning for some breakfast. Mike just got back from a visit to Cuba. He seemed to enjoy his visit there. He seemed refreshed when he came into my home, as if the trip rejuvinated him a bit. When I asked about the politics of Cuba he seemed more tense. He explained that in his eyes, the situation is too hard to explain from one side or the other. He reported that some people there seemed happy to him, while others seemed like they were missing out on the rest of the world. After this talk, Mike appeared less cheerful than he did when he showed up. I think the conversation got his brain going a bit too fast and suggested that we make some food. Mike thought he should make the coffee since he does not think he cooks well. I scrambled some eggs and kale, and then I put some bread in the toaster. Mike smiled while he made the coffee which made me think that he got his mind off of the conversation about Cuba. We ate our meal and shared many stories. It seemed to me that we both enjoyed our visit. I think we will see each other later in the week.
CAN I SYNTHESIZE EAST AND WEST?
YES! When I entered this field of study it was very important to me to remember that both eastern and western medicine have played and continue to play a huge role in my life. I have been turned off from doctors who claim that their way is the correct way to deal with health. Having suffered health problems through my life, I really learned that everyone's body reacts to everything differently. I never seemed to improve when I worked with a healer that was sure their method would make me better. I have always been more drawn to eastern medicine as it seems to fit more of my values of natural healing and working with the individual body, but I will never forget the fact that western medicine has saved my life two times. I hope to continue through this program with a strong respect for both medicines as I know they both have their place. I even hope to focus on a patient population that may have to rely on western medicine to live, but want to get support from an eastern side as well. I think if our field wants to become part of the western world, we have to pay our respects to western medicine. It is not bad. I feel more often, there are good and bad doctors, just like there are good and bad acupunturists. The statement that you are nothing without your health is the truest thing I have ever known. With that, what ever people need to find their health......amen.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Week #8
NEWTON'S THREE LAWS AND ME
Law #1: When I stay at home, I am so thrilled to be here as I live in a redwood grove away from the rush of the city. So here, I stay at rest. Unless there is something that comes to my home with urgency, the state of rest is maintained. When I go into town to run errands, I am on a mission to do everything on my list. The buzz of the city egnites my motion to get things done. During these outings, sometimes a phone call will occur that will make me have to sit and rest for a moment. The rush of the city is usually so strong, it is hard to stop me in my tracks. I prefer the first part of the law.
Law #2: When my mind is light, it is usually when I am at peace with my emotions. As harder emotions build up, they seem to get stuck inside me, almost causing me to feel heavy. When this occurs, it is harder for me to motivate because life just seems like it will all be too heavy. Once things are dealt with, my mind is lighter.
Law #3: I am sad to say I know this law well. My ex and I were very good at fighting. Some people fight in a way where one person says how they feel and things get worked out. Not us. If one of us got mad and went to the other to express it, the other one quickly came back with the same or more force with another side of the arguement. We were real life car crashes sometimes. I don't recommend it as usually it never got worked out and we were always tired the next day.
OUR "ENERGY EFFICIENT" CULTURE
Where? I am sad to say that we are not an energy efficient culture. I spent 13 days on a ship from Japan to seattle where I did not see land for the entire journey. I was humbled to no end at the greatness of the size of the sea and made a special thought to myself to always remember how small I am. Although in my smallness, I can do great things, but I have to leave small footprints. I am shocked at the impact all of us can have, being that we are all so small, on this large earth. Now that we are starting to see some problems with the environment, hopefully we can take lighter footsteps and use our energy towards more positive impact. I try to tell people that all little efforts count. I am not sure if I should believe that, but it feels better to live without throwing in the towel.
DESCARTES HAS A LOT TO ANSWER FOR
He thought, therefore he was. It seems this philosophy seperates people from their sorroundings. And who is to say what thinks and how it things. We all believe animals to "think" but what about plants. As a farmer, who has to kill weeds all the time, I often wonder if I am causing harm and pain. I wonder what the other plants are thinking. This idea seems to put too much importance on humans. I would like to rephrase his statement in a more eastern way. I have QI, therefore I am. So now the rock that I stand on, the tree that hovers over me and the sun that is setting are all part of the equation of being.
Law #1: When I stay at home, I am so thrilled to be here as I live in a redwood grove away from the rush of the city. So here, I stay at rest. Unless there is something that comes to my home with urgency, the state of rest is maintained. When I go into town to run errands, I am on a mission to do everything on my list. The buzz of the city egnites my motion to get things done. During these outings, sometimes a phone call will occur that will make me have to sit and rest for a moment. The rush of the city is usually so strong, it is hard to stop me in my tracks. I prefer the first part of the law.
Law #2: When my mind is light, it is usually when I am at peace with my emotions. As harder emotions build up, they seem to get stuck inside me, almost causing me to feel heavy. When this occurs, it is harder for me to motivate because life just seems like it will all be too heavy. Once things are dealt with, my mind is lighter.
Law #3: I am sad to say I know this law well. My ex and I were very good at fighting. Some people fight in a way where one person says how they feel and things get worked out. Not us. If one of us got mad and went to the other to express it, the other one quickly came back with the same or more force with another side of the arguement. We were real life car crashes sometimes. I don't recommend it as usually it never got worked out and we were always tired the next day.
OUR "ENERGY EFFICIENT" CULTURE
Where? I am sad to say that we are not an energy efficient culture. I spent 13 days on a ship from Japan to seattle where I did not see land for the entire journey. I was humbled to no end at the greatness of the size of the sea and made a special thought to myself to always remember how small I am. Although in my smallness, I can do great things, but I have to leave small footprints. I am shocked at the impact all of us can have, being that we are all so small, on this large earth. Now that we are starting to see some problems with the environment, hopefully we can take lighter footsteps and use our energy towards more positive impact. I try to tell people that all little efforts count. I am not sure if I should believe that, but it feels better to live without throwing in the towel.
DESCARTES HAS A LOT TO ANSWER FOR
He thought, therefore he was. It seems this philosophy seperates people from their sorroundings. And who is to say what thinks and how it things. We all believe animals to "think" but what about plants. As a farmer, who has to kill weeds all the time, I often wonder if I am causing harm and pain. I wonder what the other plants are thinking. This idea seems to put too much importance on humans. I would like to rephrase his statement in a more eastern way. I have QI, therefore I am. So now the rock that I stand on, the tree that hovers over me and the sun that is setting are all part of the equation of being.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Week #7
ORDERED CHAOS
To me, life is defined by this. There really is so much out of our control. I find that I tend to like order. I often walk the same path to get somewhere. I tend to do my homework the same way every week. I am very strict with my bed time. I have a daily routine with my beloved dog which includes several different trails. When I think about my future; I try to stay very healthy and active. I eat well. I surround myself by wonderful people. I fill my brain with art and information. But if you asked me what I want more than anything out of life, my answer would be the same as its always been; I want to be a great mom and part of a healthy family. Well, there is no order to that. I am very single and childless. In all this chaos, I have to just trust the universe that one day, this dream will stumble upon me. There is nothing I can do but continue to try to be a good person. Perhaps karma plays a role in chaos.
FRACTALS AS PATTERNS OF COMPLEX SYSTEMS
I understand fractals to be parts of a whole. In a snowflake, there are many tiny forms that are replicated in larger forms of that same snowflake. Fractals are also used in that chaos theory. They can be present in a chaotic phenomena, such as as crystal formation. They are not really sure how crystals are formed, but they can find fractals in each specific crystal. It is neat to think about something with such detailed design be present in things that seem to be in chaos.
CONSCIOUSNESS OUT OF CHAOS
This statement rings very true for me. I have a very active mind, that is often debilitating. It seems that thoughts are racing by in all directions. In some way, it is how I best understand chaos. (I don't recommend it). Luckily I have been able to find a few things that help slow my mind down, qigong, hiking, watching movies, doing math and playing cards. But as I try to sleep, I often lie awake as these tools are not as reachable. It is best for me to be very deliberate to think about only one thing and force myself to stay on that topic and in a way control my conscious mind of all the chaos around it.
COOL EXPERIMENTS
I did the experiment with a spoon, fork and knife. Here are the findings:
The spoon: the spoon created two unique types of mirrors. When you looked at the back of it, it was a convex mirror, which showed objectsto be smaller than they really were. The front of the spoon was a concave mirror which made the objects both large and small, and also upside down and rightside up.
The fork: I tried to get the fork to make a tone, but I am afraid that perhaps I have cheap "silver" ware. Too bad. I will be sure to try it next time I eat out somewhere fancy.
The knife: The knife acted as a mirror as we know, but we don't know mirrors to move around so much. So by moving objects around the knife, and or moving the knife around you can get some really neat images in the mirror, sometimes that look nothing like the object that you are reflecting. This one was my favoire.
To me, life is defined by this. There really is so much out of our control. I find that I tend to like order. I often walk the same path to get somewhere. I tend to do my homework the same way every week. I am very strict with my bed time. I have a daily routine with my beloved dog which includes several different trails. When I think about my future; I try to stay very healthy and active. I eat well. I surround myself by wonderful people. I fill my brain with art and information. But if you asked me what I want more than anything out of life, my answer would be the same as its always been; I want to be a great mom and part of a healthy family. Well, there is no order to that. I am very single and childless. In all this chaos, I have to just trust the universe that one day, this dream will stumble upon me. There is nothing I can do but continue to try to be a good person. Perhaps karma plays a role in chaos.
FRACTALS AS PATTERNS OF COMPLEX SYSTEMS
I understand fractals to be parts of a whole. In a snowflake, there are many tiny forms that are replicated in larger forms of that same snowflake. Fractals are also used in that chaos theory. They can be present in a chaotic phenomena, such as as crystal formation. They are not really sure how crystals are formed, but they can find fractals in each specific crystal. It is neat to think about something with such detailed design be present in things that seem to be in chaos.
CONSCIOUSNESS OUT OF CHAOS
This statement rings very true for me. I have a very active mind, that is often debilitating. It seems that thoughts are racing by in all directions. In some way, it is how I best understand chaos. (I don't recommend it). Luckily I have been able to find a few things that help slow my mind down, qigong, hiking, watching movies, doing math and playing cards. But as I try to sleep, I often lie awake as these tools are not as reachable. It is best for me to be very deliberate to think about only one thing and force myself to stay on that topic and in a way control my conscious mind of all the chaos around it.
COOL EXPERIMENTS
I did the experiment with a spoon, fork and knife. Here are the findings:
The spoon: the spoon created two unique types of mirrors. When you looked at the back of it, it was a convex mirror, which showed objectsto be smaller than they really were. The front of the spoon was a concave mirror which made the objects both large and small, and also upside down and rightside up.
The fork: I tried to get the fork to make a tone, but I am afraid that perhaps I have cheap "silver" ware. Too bad. I will be sure to try it next time I eat out somewhere fancy.
The knife: The knife acted as a mirror as we know, but we don't know mirrors to move around so much. So by moving objects around the knife, and or moving the knife around you can get some really neat images in the mirror, sometimes that look nothing like the object that you are reflecting. This one was my favoire.
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